Learning to breathe.....

Haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.......

This is a loooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnggggggg sigh.

I'm at the down side. I know, perhaps, Ive been treading high note for the last few weeks and I'm at the low season for now. Ive got gastric which does not help either. Sometimes, I wish I can run back and hide and not be involved in so many vision-like projects.

I want to go for holidays. Have not been in one since 12 months ago. Seriously, could not wait for Jan 2013 to come.

Perhaps, I need to chillex for now.. be real, be weak...


Breathe.. doreen .. breathe...

You are AMAZING!!!!

I know that I should be sleeping but I need to wind down. :)

It has indeed been a good week. IN fact, I would say it has INDEED been a GREAT WEEK! This year has been GREAT and I am so thankful and EXTREMELY grateful to GOD. He really knows my desire and blessed me with things that I have in me, even without me having to pray for it. How good is that!? :D

I am looking forward to many more good things to come. I know the best is yet to come and I am so looking forward to tomorrow night as well as Saturday! My eyes are opened and I can't wait to see what God is going to reveal to me. All is good, VERY GOOD when one choose to journey life with Him! 

Father, there is NONE Like you! Who is there like you? No ONE! You know me inside out and you fulfils all my desires! Indeed, your timing is PERFECT and I know I can TRUST you in ALL THINGS! I don't have to rush things but I would say that I am in the BEST MOMENT in my life! Who says that dreams will not come TRUE? Dreams will still come TRUE when I am close to you! Father, you are AMAZING and you KNOW IT! I am grateful for you have always been faithful. You are true to your words and in you, I will not be in lack!

Can't wait to encounter you this coming weekend!!

Your one and only precious Dory! :D

In another 3 more months.....

I am so so grateful to God. He knows my heart desire even before I ask Him. I have been asking myself when will I be able to explore the Arts more and somehow, somewhere last week, I received an email in regards to this Creative Arts workshop that is held by FGA Melbourne this coming Sunday. I proceed in checking out Theresa Dedmon Ministries and it lead me to something that is so close to my heart.

Her passion and vision for the arts within the church as well as having a Kingdom mindset for the Arts is something I can relate to. It is so assuring to know that God's timing is always perfect, just as He has planned it. Just about the same time last year, both Mel and myself were in the midst of planning our trip to Texas, US so to pursue our calling in dance. As at present, the doors for me to pursue my another creative side of me is opened for me to explore. I love oil painting.

On top of that, I love dancing. I love to create "spaces" for all creative artists to shine and do what they are destined to pursue.  I love to journey with each of them so to teach, build and guide each of them in the understanding of their identities in Christ. Only through this strong foundation in Christ and a provision of a strong community for artists to learn, grow and supported by every single person within the community, they can grow securely to pursue the specific purpose they are called to.

Ahhhhh, My Lord. It won't be long, right? I am here with my eyes, ears, hearts and arms WIDE OPEN for you to direct me. Use me, my Lord. In the next few months, it will be an exact 10 years mark where you gave this vision to me. I am still here, believing and holding on to this Vision since October 2002. As at present, I am waiting for you to direct me to the next stage. Thank you for molding & refining my character. Thank you for being by my side during the low times in my life. I'm so glad that I am still here, standing firm & steady. Thank you for everything. I am indeed grateful for all that I have in the present.

Loving you,

Your One and Only 

A New SEASON Has ARRIVED!

How could I NOT love the Word that brings LIFE? I'm sooo encouraged, so so inspired and refreshed from your Word, my Lord.

At our Monday morning prayer meeting, I saw a vision of a deer, lowering her head to drink from the river bank. Just like a deer that thirsts after the water that nourishes her, so is my soul that yearns after God. Right after that, I saw flowers of all sizes and colours, began to sprout everywhere on the horns of the deer. So pretty. :) 

"As the deer pants for streams of water,

so my soul pants for you, my God.

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.  

When can I go and meet with God"? Psalm 42:1-2

What is life, work, relationships without God? It means nothing. All must come from the Lord, our Father. I know for now, my focus will be getting back into the source that truly matters. Everything that I think, say & act, must be inspired from my day to day walk with God. It has and will always be an "inside-out" process. 

I do not desire to do things at my own strength for I will labour in vain if God is not in it, in the very first place.

So there, a new SEASON of Fruitfulness is coming my way.

A season of worship & prayer.

A season of multiplication.

A season of JOY & seeing God at work.

I can so SEE it, in my spirit!

So so excited!!!! :)

Join me if you are keen to grow "INSIDE-OUT"....... & desire for a NEW ADVENTURE with HIM...

I want to KNOW........

• It doesn’t interest me
  what you do for a living.
  I want to know
  what you ache for
  and if you dare to dream
  of meeting your heart’s longing.
  
  
  
  
  It doesn’t interest me
  how old you are.
  I want to know
  if you will risk
  looking like a fool
  for love
  for your dream
  for the adventure of being alive.
  
  
  
  
  It doesn’t interest me
  what planets are
  squaring your moon…
  I want to know
  if you have touched
  the centre of your own sorrow
  if you have been opened
  by life’s betrayals
  or have become shrivelled and closed
  from fear of further pain.
  
  
  
  
  I want to know
  if you can sit with pain
  mine or your own
  without moving to hide it
  or fade it
  or fix it.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  I want to know
  if you can be with joy
  mine or your own
  if you can dance with wildness
  and let the ecstasy fill you
  to the tips of your fingers and toes
  without cautioning us
  to be careful
  to be realistic
  to remember the limitations
  of being human.
  
  
  
  
  It doesn’t interest me
  if the story you are telling me
  is true.
  I want to know if you can
  disappoint another
  to be true to yourself.
  If you can bearthe accusation of betrayal
  and not betray your own soul.
  If you can be faithless
  and therefore trustworthy.
  
  
  I want to know if you can see Beauty
  even when it is not pretty
  every day.
  And if you can source your own life
  from its presence.
  
  
  
  
  I want to know
  if you can live with failure
  yours and mine
  and still stand at the edge of the lake
  and shout to the silver of the full moon,“Yes.”
  
  
  
  
  It doesn’t interest me
  to know where you live
  or how much money you have.
  I want to know if you can get up
  after the night of grief and despair
  weary and bruised to the bone
  and do what needs to be done
  to feed the children.
  
  
  
  
  It doesn’t interest me
  who you know
  or how you came to be here.
  I want to know if you will standin the centre of the fire
  with me
  and not shrink back.
  
  
  
  
  It doesn’t interest me
  where or what or with whom
  you have studied.
  I want to know
  what sustains you
  from the inside
  when all else falls away.
  
  
  
  
  I want to know
  if you can be alone
  with yourself
  and if you truly like
  the company you keepin the empty moments.
  
  
  - The Invitation, Oriah Mountain Dreamer
  
  

"Be STRONG and take HEART, all you who HOPE in the LORD." Psalm 31:24

It's 6.22pm now and I am listening to Wang Lee Hom's song: Still in Love with You. I really like the tune. :) 

Am feeling the brunt of end of financial year but I am not going to allow the pressure to overwhelm me. I am going to do as much as I can, one day at a time. As busy as I am, I cannot avoid the pain that my friends are going through. Yes, it is good to tick the checklist that I have but truly, being there for a friend is more important than making myself feel good by completing my work. I'm not saying that completing my tasks are not important, I am stating that relationship; people and friends are much more valuable to me. 

As I was listening to my friend, I was praying for wisdom from God. I know I am not in a position to "solve" the problem but I am to be here to just "listen" and ask good "questions". I believe when one is going through "challenges", he needs someone to be there for him. I know I will really appreciate it when someone, a friend who truly care is there for me when I am in the "storm".

Scripture

"Be STRONG and take HEART,

all you who HOPE in the LORD." Psalm 31:24

Observation

King David was going through time of distress and he turned to Father Abba for help. He saw God as his place of refuge, a God who would deliver him from the evil people. He knew what God could do and the power that he had in helping him. Such is the faith that David had in God. 

Application

I love how trusting David was in God. I desire to be like him. I know that this trust can only be built through years and years of devoting oneself to God. How would you know the heart of God without spending time to know this Creator? How would one know the character of God without learning and seeing all the great victories that God had pulled through for his people, for the sake of His name.

I am the daughter of the Most HIGH. Jesus said greater are those who are called in His name for He shall do an even greater things than He did. I am given the power and authority over the lies, fears and threats from the enemies. What can they do to me since I know that my Dad will not allow me to be hurt? I know God's plan is to prosper and not to harm me. I believe the spirit in me will guide, lead, mentor and train me in the ways of the Lord. I know the Spirit will be my comforter when all things fail.

Prayer

My Lord, I pray for this understanding to be with my fellow friends who are going through time of questioning about life. I pray that their eyes, mind, heart and ears will be opened to this truth for you say that your truth will set everyone who believes in you, FREE. Father, I believe that if you are for me, who can be against me. No one, my Lord. Papa, I am thankful for you are faithful and that you have never leave me nor forsake me. I pray that this understanding of who you are, our Protector will flow to every single person who is hurting right now, right here in this place. My Lord, My lord, just as you have never leave me whenever I call for your help, you will also be there for my friends. Please be there to comfort them, be their shield and be their tower of refuge.

In Christ Alone,

Doreen C.

In Christ Alone

Today is the 11th June 2012. I'm in my 30's but there is this sense of deep youthfulness within me. So many things had happened during the last few years but they seem to be "unreal" to me now. What had happened before seems to have faded away as mere "memories" to me. My life was full of ups & downs and trust me, it was chaotic back then. I could not have imagined how I had managed to rise up & overcome every single one of them with my Creator. To be honest, I am so glad that my Creator came, fought & rescued me back in 2000. I could not have imagined how my life would turned out to be without this Creator. All I can say is that it will be really miserable, uneventful, boring & worst of all, meaningless. Who knows, I may have actually marry someone I do not really loved, work in a place I do not really enjoyed and have no idea on how to nurture my kids. Life would have been miserable as I know deep within, my dreams of something "more than just these" could never, ever be fulfilled. But, hey, He came to my aid when I was just at a tender age of 21. :) *Sigh of relief*

As at Present

Ive got a calling, a purpose that is bigger than myself.

Ive got a community that I love and cherish.

Ive got younger "sisters" & housemate whom I truly adore & am taking care of.

Ive got the finances to eat without having to count every cents & having to save on things

Ive got the finances to be generous to others.

Ive got a car where I can travel to where ever I please & bless others at the same time.

I'm working with a bunch of amazing people whose hearts are set right on what is truly important.

I've got an amazing family back in Malaysia.

Ive got a few friends whom I can go to. (TB, FF, AR, JT)

Ive got a beautiful & most adorable cat, Missy Louise Cleopatra. 

Ive got legs & limbs & a healthy body for me to dance my heart out.

Ive got a healthy mind!

Ive got the independence to pursue what I love.

Ive got the FREEDOM & conviction to PURSUE what I believe in.

The most important of all, I belong to this God who knows me inside out & has given me a promise that He will definitely fulfill in His perfect timing. :D

Honestly, what do I have to complain? Yes, I do, sometimes.

I am eager to see the "results" and really, I am impatient, hehehe just like my dad. 

But, you know what Father, 

- I love surprises. 

- I love to live by faith. 

- I love love love what you are about to do. 

Though I do not see what is happening in the current state, but I am going to wait and see what you are about to do. While I am waiting, I desire to seek you with all my heart, soul & might. The above are nothing without you; my first love. I do not want to be called as one who has forgotten her first love. I choose you, Father. I want you. I desire to wait and obey you. What you have given me, my Lord, I am grateful and truly contented with everything that I have. Father, as for me & my household, we will worship you until the end of time, just like Joshua. I pray and ask forth, for the salvation of every single person in the Chew & Wong's clans. Father, I pray that your Words will never leave this household & I ask forth for you to bless and be the covering over myself, my family and generations upon generations to come after me. May my children be apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, professors, "rebels" who stand up for the right causes, judges, doctors, lawyers, artists, celebrities, sportsmen; men & women who desires to seek first your Kingdom and your righteousness; people who dare to stand up for injustice, for the poor, weak and the widows. Father, hear my prayers as I ask forth with deep conviction & faith.

Father, I pray that your desire will be my desire. I pray that I will not deviate from the sole purpose that you have called me to but to keep a heart that is constantly in tune with you. Father, I also pray for my future partner that he will be strengthened and he shall set his heart right with you. He shall place you as his no. 1 in his life. Anyone who does not fit the bill, please send them away from me. Father, I believe time is crucial here and I am ready to partner with the right person whom you have prepared for me. Just like Eve, I will support my Adam. I pray that you will mold & refine him. May you humble, teach, direct, mentor, guide him in your ways. May he be one who understand the true meaning of forgiveness, humility, grace & mercy and unconditional love. May he be one who will truly loves me like how Jesus loves the church & I pray for a teachable heart as well, someone who listens & understand the importance of communication & lastly, be one who is generous please!!!! :D I surrender all of these unto your hands, My Lord.

In Christ Alone,
Your one and only..;)


In Christ Alone