Feeling a bit down recently.
Not too sure why. It seems that I may have a lot of things to be grateful for but the lack of foresight in this seems daunting.
No wonder it is so true that when one may seem to have lots, have "nothing" in the end.
All things without God is meaningless. It is not that I do not have God but I do not sense him. I know that it is more than sensing him. Why this emotion? Why this feeling of "loneliness"? Yet, I do know that my Lord has never leave me nor forsake me?
I know by accepting this feeling that I have now is healthy. Also the acceptance of listening to the wrong "voice" within me is alright. It is all part of growing to know myself, to discern the "real/actual" voice within me. Why I am frustrated with this slow speed? I desire to enjoy these downtime for I know it is all part of the bigger picture.
My Lord, My lord, why am I feeling the way I feel now? Why the dissatisfaction with life? Why am I having this emotion, this emptiness within me? OR is it real and just me, trying to feel these emotions?
My Lord, My Lord, hear me out. Are you out there? I know that you are and you are listening to me attentively. There is noone like you, My Lord. Who can I put my trust? No one but you alone, my Lord. IN you I place my trust. In you, I desire to follow you all the days of my heart. Father, feelings & emotions can be deceiving but there is assurance, security, consistency in you!
Without you, who am I?
Without you, I can do nothing?
Without the "air" that you have breathe in me, I am lifeless.
Father, I am thankful for just being able to write my heart/thoughts for you. I know deep within that there is noone like you. I'm so glad that I can be all I am meant to be & not be someone else. Father, I adore you & desire you. I love you & you are the best thing that has ever happened in my life. IT does not matter what other people think of me, at the end of the day, everyone is too busy doing what they are suppose to do. You are my lover of my soul and there is no one like you! :) Father, I adore you, I love you, I HEART of you. Father, there is noone else but you alone! :)
Even as I am listening to these beautiful songs, they remind me so so much of you. Father, as I typed this with my bare hands, it is like words are flowing right from my heart just for you. Papa, do you know that I am serenading you, noone but you ALONE. It is like playing a piano, it is not about techniques, but it is a heartfelt song that I am playing just for you alone. Father, you are my favourite audience, do you know that? :) :) :)
Kanbattee...
Love love love,
Your one and only
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