It has been a week of fun and many challenges as I prepared for Talent Night. It has been a month of fun organising our weekly Latin dance classes. It was fun and everything ran smoothly. But subconsciously, I wonder, "'Where is God? Where is His presence in the midst of these "fun-filled" activities.
God is kind and patient. He is indeed merciful. I love Him for these. I am allowed to take the above route to experience a clarity of my feeling now. Indeed, Father Abba, thank you for allowing me to "learn" from these experiences. I love this. :)
Auntie Kim prayed over me yesterday. She prayed that God is going to fill the container that Ive prepared for Him. I have indeed desire to know more of my beloved Father. In fact, I want to build a bottomless well so that God can filled me indefinitely. I deeply yearn for God to open the floodgate of Heaven and pour all the blessings, guidances and wisdoms into me. :)
Scriptures
i) Ecclesiastes 2:4-11
4 I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. 5 I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. 6 I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. 7 I bought male and female slaves and had other slaves who were born in my house. I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. 8 I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces. I acquired male and female singers, and a harem [a] as well—the delights of a man's heart. 9 I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me.
10 I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my labor,
and this was the reward for all my toil.
11 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun.
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ii) Psalm 127:1
"Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain."
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Observation
i) King Solomon detailed all this accomplishments throughout his lifetime. He undertook great "projects" and built his wealth and slaves/women to fulfill the desire of his hearts. In fact, he hold nothing back from pursuing these pleasures his heart desire. He became the most powerful and rich rulers during his days. Yet, all these accomplishments amounted to MEANINGLESSNESS. These pleasures are temporal, an act of chasing after wind => meaninglessness.
ii) Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. How true is this. Unless the LORD is the core foundation of our "work" all is meaninglessness, chasing after the wind despite the "temporal" pleasures and sense of achievements we may feel in the beginning.
Application
How true are the above. God is faithful. He answers me through the above. Now I am able to piece together the "missing pieces". God is the secret ingredient to ALL the things that I'm involved in.
If all my dance projects/lessons commences without God being the centre of it all, it will not last. God must be the core foundation for my dance project. I know Father has called me to nurture, take care of his sheeps. This I will do so. As at now, I have found the reason for my fasting. To seek the Lord with all my heart, soul and might. To yearn after His ways in building the foundation of His creative arts ministry. I am here to steward His will, not my will.
I also believe that I will incorporate prayers ie a time to seek the Lord with the team from the moment we begin our planning. I believe throughout this fasting period, God has already prepares all the resources and wisdoms for me to tap into. Yes, Father, I will draw near to you. :)
Prayer
Father, thank you for your love and guidance. There is noone like you. None. You are my lover of my soul. You are the reason that I lived. Father, I am ready to see and hear you. I am ready to obey you. I am ready to let you be the main driver in this journey. Father, I surrender all of me into your hands. Father, I trust in you. Father, prepare me for the year ahead. I'm looking forward for more meaningful experiences with you and my beloved friends, family, community and new mentor and mentees. Am looking forward to more meaningful experiences in creative arts ministry and commencement of painting as well. :) Of celebrations... of weddings, of new birth.. :) of financial blessings.. AMEN!! So, LET IT BE...:) I want surprises.. I love them..:)
Your beloved daughter,
Doremi
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